A Gift Guide For The Washed-Up Runner
A Gift Guide For The Washed-Up Runner
Gift guide for the running who's less competitive than he used to be.
Running is a lifelong sport that's also very easy to get much worse at. In our first gift guide, we recommend gifts for that runner who once aspired to mediocrity, but now merely aspires to be ambulatory.
Long Shorts
Two-inch split shorts are for people in great shape, or with tremendous self-confidence. For the rest of us, long shorts will get the job done. I rotate between two kinds: the New Balance Impact five-inch, and the Mizuno Square 5.5-inch. The New Balances have an enormous pocket, great for running to the grocery store and walking back--which is one of the key moves in the "washed up runner" arsenal. The Mizunos are the first pair of non-split shorts I ever wore, and maybe the single most comfortable item of clothing I've ever owned. I've bought a new pair every six months or so since the first one.
A Non-GPS Watch
For the runner who doesn't want to know how much worse he's gotten at running the four-mile loop around his parents' neighborhood. Like my coworker Taylor Dutch, I don't believe in GPS watches regardless, but I particularly don't believe in them now that they'd strictly bear bad news. Fool yourself with your continued delusion that that half-hour run is four miles; I certainly do.
Anything with a large face and a good band will do here, but I've always liked Timex's Ironman watches.
SportHill Pants
These pants are equally valuable to the elite and the exerciser. I don't understand how anyone can run fast with tights on; for me, even the most comfortable tights are too restrictive for track workouts. Buy yourself a pair or two of loose SportHills, wear a pair of running shorts under them, and be ready for any type of workout in any weather.
This isn't really especially for the washed-up runner in your life, but if you run somewhere cold, this is the best purchase you can make outside of a pair of gloves that you love.
Long Shorts
Two-inch split shorts are for people in great shape, or with tremendous self-confidence. For the rest of us, long shorts will get the job done. I rotate between two kinds: the New Balance Impact five-inch, and the Mizuno Square 5.5-inch. The New Balances have an enormous pocket, great for running to the grocery store and walking back--which is one of the key moves in the "washed up runner" arsenal. The Mizunos are the first pair of non-split shorts I ever wore, and maybe the single most comfortable item of clothing I've ever owned. I've bought a new pair every six months or so since the first one.
A Non-GPS Watch
For the runner who doesn't want to know how much worse he's gotten at running the four-mile loop around his parents' neighborhood. Like my coworker Taylor Dutch, I don't believe in GPS watches regardless, but I particularly don't believe in them now that they'd strictly bear bad news. Fool yourself with your continued delusion that that half-hour run is four miles; I certainly do.
Anything with a large face and a good band will do here, but I've always liked Timex's Ironman watches.
SportHill Pants
These pants are equally valuable to the elite and the exerciser. I don't understand how anyone can run fast with tights on; for me, even the most comfortable tights are too restrictive for track workouts. Buy yourself a pair or two of loose SportHills, wear a pair of running shorts under them, and be ready for any type of workout in any weather.
This isn't really especially for the washed-up runner in your life, but if you run somewhere cold, this is the best purchase you can make outside of a pair of gloves that you love.